real joy?

I’ve always told one of my colleague/ friend that I was and am still really, very, sincerely happy for her, that she has found ‘him’. What more can I say when both are also my friends! In fact, my close friends =) Perhaps this is really my nature, my character to be happy over other’s joy.

Recently, another friend got together with another friend of mine as well! *why are friends getting together with friends? @_@ Is it the trend nowadays? So like the sit-com F.R.I.E.N.D.S* Being in such state I am now, there is still no doubt that I feel sincerely happy for both of them! It’s as though, for that very moment, I can be overjoyed over other’s happiness. Although there are times that I doubt whether my feeling is normal – being happy for others when I feel like hell deep down. Perhaps I need a doctor @_@ Somehow, it seemed as though the world is a better place, as people around me are enjoying themselves and living a happy life.

Is that what I’m after? Feeling happy over other’s happiness and conceal my real feelings? Maybe this is the best I can do to be happy, considering the word ‘happy’ (in relationship context) will no longer be in my mind (at least for the time being).

Another happy news that really cheered me was that my manager just had a baby girl! When we first met up the other day, I could see the contented feeling and expression on his face. Somehow, there is something on one’s countenance that shows the joy and bliss of life. I was really happy to see his baby girl’s picture, and although there were only a few pictures to flaunt, I know very well how he’s feeling – the excitement of welcoming his next phase of life. I hereby wish him an enjoyable journey to fatherhood and have a filial daughter!

My ‘battery’ needs to be charged. It’s running out of power. T_T

The 26^th October means a lot to me. A day of true ecstasy 3 years ago. However it’ll also be the day reality hits me. I hope friends and people around me live on happily, which in return will bring a few smile from me ^.^

current state: *billion of needles poking*, *disappointed*, *moodless*, *powerless*